• Vicky Brandt, LMHC

Both/And Thinking

If we can move from “either/or” thinking to “both/and” thinking, we might find ourselves becoming more flexible, understanding others’ points of view, blaming others less, and having fewer interpersonal conflicts. Two things that seem like opposites can both be true. Here are some examples: Either/Or: I’m totally right about this. You’re wrong. Both/And: I see it this way, and you see it that way. Either/Or: I should be able to take care of myself without asking others for help. Both/And: I can take care of myself, and sometimes I need to ask others for help and support. Either/Or: I can’t trust people because I might get hurt. Both/And: I can trust some people and I find it difficult to trust others. This concept is present in Buddhist philosophy, as well as in existential and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) therapy models. Where can you shift your thinking to embrace both sides?

Vicky Brandt is the owner of Looking Glass Counseling. She has over 14 years of experience working as a psychotherapist, both in private practice and community mental health settings. She has taught as adjunct faculty in the master's programs at Boston College and Lesley University.

Thank you for your interest in our Monday Mental Health Moments. Join our mailing list for a weekly newsletter on various mental health topics, and information about upcoming groups or workshops. We promise we won’t spam you!

Recent Posts

See All

Balancing Your See-Saw

When avoiding external conflict, we are not always removing the concern so much as absorbing it internally. It can feel safer to bring it inward when we consider that others’ reactions or comments are

The Courage of the Bushido

The Bushido is the code of conduct used by the Japanese samurai. From this philosophy, Stephanie Russell writes a book called...

Coping with the Holidays in a Pandemic

Like most aspects of our lives, the holiday season will be different this year as a result of the pandemic. We’re being asked and encouraged to change our holiday traditions to protect the health of o

© Looking Glass Counseling, 2020. All rights reserved.

255 Elm Street, Suite 201

Somerville, MA, 02144

(617) 702-9131

  • Facebook - White Circle