Practicing Gratitude

Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance. - Eckhart Tolle

This quote from Tolle implies that abundance is a mindset. I don’t want to diminish the experience of those who truly go without. I don’t want to diminish the experience of those who struggle to find peace and contentment, or those who struggle to make ends meet in the fast-paced, money centered world we live in. These are very real struggles that I’m not suggesting can be changed or improved simply with a mindset shift. 

I in no way want to insinuate that a mindset makes the anxiety of financial difficulty or not having one’s needs met “okay.” However, we do have to pause and be aware of the tendency to think that happiness comes at a specific time,  location or when “I’ve achieved a certain goal or sense of self.” I have found myself thinking, “Life will feel better in 5 years when I have X, Y or Z,” and I’ve been victim to the idea that maybe there’s a certain time when I’ll suddenly hit a peak and begin espousing behaviors I haven’t disciplined myself toward. 

Happiness won’t come at these dream stages where life will just suddenly improve or get better. Happiness is a dandelion growing in the crack in the sidewalk. It doesn’t wish that it were somewhere else but pops up right where the seed fell, grateful for the sun and earth by which it is sustained. I think this is the heart of Tolle’s quote. It can be so easy to get bogged down by the difficult experiences of life that we forget the abundance we already have.

Gratitude requires the intentionality to pause ourselves and really reflect on what is going well despite the chaos. Here are some ideas for how you can start your own gratitude practice: 

1) Choose the time of day you could benefit the most from taking a pause

Some have reflected that it’s best for them to start their day oriented toward the good things in life, noting it sets a tone for the rest of their day. Some have said that it’s best for them to do this before bed as a way to wind down and decompress. Some might enjoy a lunchtime gratitude practice as a mid-day reset. There isn’t a wrong time to practice gratitude. 

2) Choose your medium

Some find it helpful to have a small journal or notebook on their bedside table for easy access. Some might enjoy engaging the arts and creativity making their gratitude the center of an art piece. Some have a dedicated note or document on their computer that they turn to when they have a moment. For others it might be a celebration through music or taking a walk to smell the neighborhood flowers. This can look however you want. 

3) Choose your focus and your method

Some say it is beneficial to just write about one moment or person from the day that they feel impacted them positively, made them feel heard, gave them a sense of peace, made them laugh or changed their point of view. Some might make a list of things daily. Some try to find things they can be grateful for in the challenges they're facing - though this one can be difficult. There isn’t a right or wrong thing to focus on or a way to approach it - I would just encourage you to go one step beyond thinking about what you’re grateful for and put it on paper, engage in an action with it or sing a song about it. 

4) Keep at it

Even if you missed a day - you haven’t ruined the practice. The more you intentionally reflect on the positives the easier the positives become to identify. You might miss a day here or there but what matters is picking it up again.

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Jon Wisdom, LCSW received his Master of Social Work degree, specializing in Trauma and Violence, from Boston University in a dual-degree program where he also received a Master of Divinity. Previously he worked as an interfaith hospital chaplain and holds a masters degree in Spiritual Care. Jon has pursued this integrated learning with the hope of working with queer individuals with religious trauma. As a queer man, he knows this is a complex issue that requires a lot of existential exploration which can be personally challenging.

In practice, Jon prioritizes affirming and patient-centered care. He uses modalities such as Phase Oriented Trauma Treatment, Motivational Interviewing (MI), Solution Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), narrative approaches, psychodynamics and operates with an anti-oppression framework. His goal as a therapist is to provide space for his clients to come as they are and for them to know that they have inherent worth and value.

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