The latest available data from the Center for Disease Control (from 2022) shows suicide as the 11th leading cause of death in the United States. This translates to almost 50,000 deaths by suicide just in 2022 and doesn’t include in an estimated 1.6 million attempts. While these are harrowing statistics for a particularly taboo topic, the first step to suicide prevention is talking about it.
First off, let’s normalize the prevalence of suicidal ideation. Have you ever had a passive or even intrusive thought along the lines of “things would be easier if I didn’t wake up tomorrow” or “I wish I would just disappear”? If so, then you have experienced, at the very least, a mild form of suicidal ideation. Like any behavior, suicidal ideation and, ultimately, suicidal acts have a function for the individual engaging in it, otherwise the behavior wouldn’t happen or persist. The function ranges from person to person, but often helps to establish an illusion of control over life or various stressors. And it can be very effective for this. However, the cons tend to outweigh the benefits in the long run, especially should the ideation become active and plan oriented, making it more maladaptive than anything else.
So, how do I start talking about my mental health, especially, suicide? Here are some tips from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention:
Treat the topic as important. Because it is!
Schedule a time to talk about it with someone you trust.
Don’t give up! If the person you first reach out to isn’t available, try someone else. And keep in mind – especially if you’re really struggling – that help is available, even if you’re not facing a serious or suicidal crisis via hotlines like 988.
During the conversation, explain what it is you’ve been experiencing – changes in your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, sleep, energy and mood. You might also tell them that you’re “having thoughts that are troubling to you.” As you’re explaining what’s been going on in your life, be sure to identify any changes in your mental health that you’re aware of, so your friend can understand the full picture. Talk about not only the things affecting you, but how they are affecting you.
After the conversation, you might be having thoughts along the lines of, “What does this person think of me now?” “What if I’ve scared them away?” “Are they going to avoid me from now on?” Some folks call this a Vulnerability Hangover. What you can do at this point is to reach back out to them, thanking them for taking the time to speak, and letting them know, once again, how important the conversation was to you.
What if you’re not suicidal or struggling, but want others to know you are open to supporting them with their mental health challenges? Here are some tips for that too:
Demonstrate that you’re willing to talk about the topic by talking about your own mental health, whether they be past or present struggles. This will normalize things and make it easier for others to disclose what they’re experiencing too.
Trust your gut if you think someone’s having a hard time and ask to speak to them privately. Start with an expression of care, followed by an observation that has tipped you off that they might be struggling.
It’s fine to circle back to the topic later or intentionally schedule a time to talk.
The other person might worry that sharing how they feel will be a burden to others. In your own words, express care for them and your willingness to be a supportive ear.
If you observe or if they disclose that they are really struggling, encourage them to seek professional help.
End the conversation by reiterating that you are so glad for the chance to connect on this deeper level about such meaningful things in life. Remind them that we all have challenges at times, and that you’ll continue to be there for them.
Hopefully, these tips serve to guide you in any conversations about mental health, especially suicide. Remember that there need not be shame in struggling with your mental health, especially given how prevalent it is. Remember there are people who genuinely want to support you. Remember that, “it isn’t weak to ask for help - it’s like using a flashlight when you are lost in the dark” (unknown author).
This month Looking Glass is proud to support Samaritans. Samaritans provides lifesaving suicide prevention services throughout Massachusetts. Their services are free, confidential and nonjudgmental.
In the last 50 years, Samaritans volunteers have answered more than 3 million calls, chats and texts from people who are struggling. Samaritans has trained more than 6,500 volunteers, provided suicide prevention workshops to 180,000 people and supported 17,000 suicide loss survivors in their grief journeys.
Kim Johnson, LMHC, MT-BC, is a licensed mental health counselor (LMHC) and board certified music therapist (MT-BC) who graduated with her master’s from Lesley University in 2017. She has experience with adults and adolescents in group private practice and community mental health settings. The levels of care she has worked in are outpatient, with both individual and group therapy and in partial hospital programs for mental health and substance use disorders. Additionally, she has had intensive training in dialectical behavioral therapy and cognitive processing therapy for PTSD.
Thank you for your interest in our Monday Mental Health Moment. Join our mailing list for a weekly newsletter on various mental health topics, and information about upcoming groups or workshops. We promise no spam!
Comments