Challenges to Long-term Change Efforts - a 3 Part Look at Goals for Long Term Change. Part 2: It’s Probably Not Laziness

Welcome to the second part of "Challenges to Long-Term Change Efforts - a three Part Look at Goals for Long Term Change. You can read part 1 here.

It’s Probably not Laziness 

Social narratives about not being able to enact change or complete certain goals often get unfairly reduced to laziness. This is not a helpful framework - some even question the actual prevalence of laziness. More often than not, I think procrastination toward many things, particularly goals, is more about the big feelings that come up around the dream. This is particularly true when our dreams and our ability to enact change toward our dreams are heavily lined with identity.

“I’ve tried before and it never works” could be feelings of fear about who we are or what we are capable of, it could be fear of who we will be or what it will mean about us if we are not able to achieve the dream, or it could even be a feeling of helplessness and the fear that there is no discernable way out of our current reality. It could be grief for having to give up something that we really like but know it is unhealthy or unhelpful for us. It could be anger that we feel the need to change at all or that our own desire to change is laden with others’ expectations that we don’t fully understand or agree with.

What is most important is that we do not simply reduce ourselves to “just being lazy” but honor ourselves through exploring our feelings about engaging life in a new way and how we internalize and interpret those experiences as meaningful about ourselves and our capabilities. 

---

Jon Wisdom, LCSW received his Master of Social Work degree, specializing in Trauma and Violence, from Boston University in a dual-degree program where he also received a Master of Divinity. Previously he worked as an interfaith hospital chaplain and holds a masters degree in Spiritual Care. Jon has pursued this integrated learning with the hope of working with queer individuals with religious trauma. As a queer man, he knows this is a complex issue that requires a lot of existential exploration which can be personally challenging.

In practice, Jon prioritizes affirming and patient-centered care. He uses modalities such as Phase Oriented Trauma Treatment, Motivational Interviewing (MI), Solution Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), narrative approaches, psychodynamics and operates with an anti-oppression framework. His goal as a therapist is to provide space for his clients to come as they are and for them to know that they have inherent worth and value.

Thank you for your interest in our Monday Mental Health Moments. Join our mailing list for a weekly newsletter on various mental health topics, and information about upcoming groups or workshops. No spam, we promise!