Between Worlds: The Challenges and Joys of Being Mixed Race

Being mixed race can mean carrying multiple histories, cultures, traditions and ways of understanding the world. This complexity can feel expansive and meaningful. It can also leave you wondering where you belong and whether others see you as you understand yourself.

You may have heard that you are “too much” of one identity or “not enough” of another. You may have been asked, “What are you?” or felt pressured to explain your background in a way that makes sense to someone else.Other people may make assumptions based on your appearance, name, skin tone, hair, language or family. You might be welcomed into one community but questioned in another. 

In a peer-reviewed study of 383 biracial adults, 46.5% reported that at least one family member had invalidated their racial identity. This reminds us that uncertainty about belonging may not come from uncertainty within you. It may develop because others have repeatedly questioned or denied who you are. 

Many mixed-race people also become skilled at noticing what different environments expect from them. You may change how you speak, what you share or which parts of yourself you emphasize. Code-switching can be a useful and protective strength. It may help you connect and navigate different cultural spaces. However, constantly assessing how you will be perceived can also become exhausting.

Being mixed race is not only about struggle. There can be joy in holding multiple cultural stories. You may have access to different traditions, foods, languages, values, family histories and perspectives. There can also be freedom in deciding for yourself what your identity means.

You do not have to divide yourself into percentages or choose one part of yourself to make others comfortable. Your identities can exist together, including the places where they complement, contradict or complicate one another.

Invitation to Try This

Create an identity map by placing your name in the center of a page. Around it, add words or images representing your cultures, family stories, communities, values, traditions and parts of yourself that others may not immediately see. What do you notice?

Invitation to Make It Your Own

Consider:

• When do I feel most connected to my identity?

• When have I felt pressure to hide, defend or prove it?

• What messages about belonging do I want to release?

• Where do I feel welcomed as my whole self?

There is no single correct way to be mixed race. Your identity can be layered, changing, joyful, painful, unfinished and fully yours.

Want to explore more ways to navigate your mixed-race identity? Head to our website to learn more about Between Worlds: A Mixed Identity Support Group. This group is an affirming space for mixed-race adults to explore identity, belonging, family, culture and connection with others who understand.

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Lace Campbell, MA is one of our Couples Therapy Fellows and a graduate of the Clinical Mental Health Counseling program at William James College, specializing in Couples and Family Therapy. She is especially passionate about working with couples, parents and individuals from non-traditional family systems, as well as those navigating racial, sexual and gender identity development. Her approach is trauma-informed, culturally responsive and attuned to the intersectional identities clients bring into the room.

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