Sexual Assault Awareness & Prevention Month: Consent

According to statistics gathered by RAINN, which is our “nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization and operator of the National Sexual Assault Hotline,” an estimated 443,635 people ages 12 and older experience sexual violence each year in the United States. Over half of these victims are ages 18-34. While statistics show that 1 in 6 women in our country have experienced attempted or completed rape in their lifetime, 1 in 33 men have also experienced attempted or completed rape. 

While this is an overwhelmingly heavy topic, one proactive way individuals can contribute to the prevention of assault is through clear and active consent. This practice consists of:

1. Checking in frequently! Consent is an ongoing conversation required each time and for every type of activity. Just because someone said yes in the past doesn’t mean they’re saying yes now. Just because someone agreed to one thing doesn’t mean they’re okay with everything else. Ask your partner(s), “Is this okay?” before proceeding. Listen to your partner(s)’s words and body language and ask for clarification if needed. Respect a “no” even if said quietly, indirectly, there is an absence of a “yes,” etc.

   
   

2. Consent should be enthusiastic. To mitigate the risk of coercion, even if accidental, look for enthusiasm in your partner’s responses. Are they saying “Yes, I want to” or “I’m into this” in a congruent tone of voice? Are they smiling, nodding, or engaging in a relaxed and comfortable way? If there is any uncertainty, that’s a great time to check in by asking, “Are you still okay with this?” and/or offering reassurance such as, “We can stop anytime, just let me know.”

   
   

3. Remember that bodily responses do NOT equal consent! Arousal, lubrication and orgasms are involuntary bodily responses that can automatically happen in response to sexual stimuli. Yes, even during an unwanted or nonconsensual experience. Freeze responses are also involuntary, so a clearly verbalized “yes” is best practice vs assuming consent in the absence of a “no.”

   
   

4. All participants must be capable of giving consent. Friendly reminder that individuals cannot give consent if they are underage, asleep, unconscious, intoxicated or being coerced.

For more guidance around best consent practices, please reference RAINN’s article on “Consent 101.” Now, go forth and enjoy yourselves consensually!

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Kim Johnson, LMHC, MT-BC, is a licensed mental health counselor (LMHC) and board certified music therapist (MT-BC) who graduated with her master’s from Lesley University in 2017. She has experience with adults and adolescents in group private practice and community mental health settings. The levels of care she has worked in are outpatient, with both individual and group therapy and in partial hospital programs for mental health and substance use disorders. Additionally, she has had intensive training in dialectical behavioral therapy and cognitive processing therapy for PTSD.

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