Mental Health at the Movies: “Obsession”

Lights! Camera! Action! Welcome to your Monday Mental Health Moment at the movies, a series discussing the intersection of psychology and cinema. Spoilers ahead and content warning: sexual assault.

In Curry Barker’s new film, Barron (Nicknamed “Bear”) can’t get the courage to confess his romantic feelings to Nikki. Instead of taking the emotional risk, he wishes on a “One Wish Willow” that Nikki would love him more than anyone else in the world. Nikki is then seemingly possessed by the dark magic of this wish, undoubtedly conjured by Bear’s growing obsession with her over their 7-year friendship.

While supernatural in plot, audiences have been both horrified and validated by its realistic depiction of sexual coercion and male fragility. In this MMHM, let’s talk about the facts of sexual coercion and how to get help if it’s happening…

• What even is sexual coercion? This article from Planned Parenthood goes into extensive detail about the various types of sexual coercion, but by definition sexual coercion is “the act of using pressure, alcohol or drugs, or force to have sexual contact with someone against his or her will” and includes “persistent attempts to have sexual contact with someone who has already refused.” (Source)

  
  

• Effects of sexual coercion include:

  • Hypervigilance and Anxiety

  • Disconnection from Bodily Sensations

  • Difficulty Feeling Desire or Pleasure

  • Guilt and Shame

  • Chronic Stress and Health Issues

  
  

• Resources to get help: Consider opening up to a supportive loved one about what’s been happening. There are also workshops and support groups hosted by the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center that are free of cost. Resources on affirmative consent and sexual assertiveness from RAINN can help you have better in-the-moment tools, but assertiveness training is only in reaction to a larger problem. Perpetrators of sexual coercion need to be held accountable for their behaviors and need to dismantle their own cognitive distortions justifying their entitlement. If you yourself have risk factors for perpetrating sexually abusive behaviors, it doesn’t matter how “nice” you are: you need to accept that rejection and disappointment are a normal part of the human experience and learn how to cope with it. Sex is supposed to be an expression of love, affection, and closeness. The antidote to cursing others lies in taking responsibility to heal ourselves.

---

Hillary Brown, LICSW is an adaptive and playful therapist interested in helping her clients improve their interpersonal relationships as well as their relationship with themself. Hillary is unapologetically fat-friendly, LGBTQ+ affirming, and committed to noticing the systemic stressors of our world that can exacerbate mental health symptoms. Together with her client, Hillary detects what changes can be made within them and around them, while fostering resiliency and hope during times of disempowerment in oppression. Hillary believes that priorities do not have to be competing with one another and instead can find a harmonious balance through boundaries, awareness-building and self-compassion.

Thank you for your interest in our Monday Mental Health Moments. Join our mailing list for a weekly newsletter on various mental health topics, and information about upcoming groups or workshops. No spam, we promise!